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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25436542">we said it wouldn’t be love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrkrose/pseuds/chrkrose'>chrkrose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire &amp; Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Happy Ending, Romance, mentions of Brienne of Tarth/Others, mentions of Jaime Lannister/Cersei Lannister - Freeform, not j/c friendly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:07:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25436542</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrkrose/pseuds/chrkrose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>'convinced we were broken inside'</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we said it wouldn’t be love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I haven’t posted it on the tags because it would be too many tags to explain, but this fic will deal with infidelity (sort of), implied abusive relationships and self esteem issues. Although it’s not explicitly said that j/c is an incestuous relationship, they do have some of it going on, although they aren’t brother/sister in this one. More like cousins or less, but still from the same “family” and looking a lot like each other physically. </p>
<p>Also both Jaime and Brienne are going through their issues while falling in love so expect some mistakes from both. It’s angst (or I intend it to be, although I feel this first chapter is definitely not as angst as I thought it would become lol), but it’s ultimately a “happy ending” fic tho, and j/b centric.</p>
<p>This fic has also been inspired by a lot of pettiness and saltiness from my part over certain comments I’ve read over the years about j/b and Brienne, especially on the context of Brienne vs Cersei so be ready for a fic which will put them both against each other and remember I’m not a Cersei fan. Like at all. Yes, I’m a feminist and no, I don’t think just because of that I have to somehow like a character who is abusive and borderline sociopathic just because she happens to be a woman. So if you are a Cersei fan or believe that Brienne and Cersei shouldn’t be put against each other because that goes against your beliefs, this fic might not be for you. </p>
<p>I decided to post this even though it’s not at all finished or close to. But it just wouldn’t leave my mind. I will come back to this but only after I finish the last chapters of The Contract so be patient lol.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Of course it’s Tyrion who tells him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Cersei is a lying whore, she's been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and probably Moon Boy for all I know.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To see the truth in his words it’s easy. Too easy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On the surface, the feeling of betrayal, of being absolutely blind to that universal truth that fell so easily from Tyrion’s lips it’s almost strong enough to make him believe he had never seen that coming.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Beneath the surface, it's just the final piece on the puzzle he has been solving for quite some time, while living in denial of its existence. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A puzzle he can finally name as: </span>
  <em>
    <span>have we ever really loved each other when I can’t find in her a single thing I used to like about or have I imagined all the things I used to see and why the fuck I can’t get out of it.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What Jaime thinks he’s going to do: knock on her door - </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t fucking care if there are people around or if anyone might hear I don’t give a flying fuck Cersei - </span>
  </em>
  <span>and tell her he knows. He knows about everything. He will demand to hear the truth from her own mouth. And when she yells at him, curses him, slaps him, and then cries and denies and looks up at him with green eyes so so very similar to his own, he won’t believe her. He will be done. He will walk away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What Jaime really does: when he gets his cue that he can come around to see her - </span>
  <em>
    <span>She never comes to me. She gives, but first I have to ask. - </span>
  </em>
  <span>he texts her something else instead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Me: </b>
  <b>
    <em>cant. on my way to Riverrun with Tyrion. </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>(She’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleback and probably Moon Boy for all I know).</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaime looks around the bar. Maybe he could pick someone up. Tell Tyrion to have fun while he sneaks out to the closest motel and come back to their hotel room the next morning.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But there’s no one here who grabs his attention, and soon enough he knows he’s just fantasizing about getting his revenge.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not having Cersei as the only one he’s ever fucked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>(She’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleback and probably Moon Boy for all I know).</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If only he had enjoyed his teenage years the way he was supposed to, instead of running after Cersei like an idiot. If only he had enjoyed his college years the way he was supposed to, instead of waiting for Cersei’s scraps. When he was a kid, he used to dream about falling in love, about getting married, about building a family of his own. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How the fuck had he convinced himself that a few hidden moments in the shadows and dark corners were enough to get him by, day by day, year by year, for all this time? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tyrion comes back with their french fries and two beers. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Both the beer and regret taste bitter on Jaime’s tongue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
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  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaime drinks another beer while discussing with Tyrion about the meeting they’ll have two days from now with the Blackfish.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>(She’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleback and probably Moon Boy for all I know).</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He finishes his fries and steals some more from Tyrion’s plate. He tries to slap his hand away but his brother have never been as fast as he was. Jaime laughs at the face Tyrion makes his way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>(She’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleback and probably Moon Boy for all I know).</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He laughs while Tyrion recounts the time he had a threesome with an Essosi couple from Ghiscar </span>
  <span>and couldn’t understand a word they were saying but he thinks they all enjoyed a very good time. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She’s been fucking Lan-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tyrion?”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaime looks up to a very very very tall girl who just stopped by their table. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I can’t believe this!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tyrion shouts, smiling from ear to ear. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“What in the fucking seven hells are you doing here?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll have a work meeting three days from now..” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she shrugs her broad shoulders, trying to go for casual. It comes out a little awkward. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Thought about maybe getting a drink tonight. What about you?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Same. Two days from now in my case. Come, have a seat with us”.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She glances Jaime’s way, and he notices three things about her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Number 1: she’s ugly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Number 2: She’s not only very tall, but also very freckled. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Number 3: Her eyes are the most astonishing blue eyes he has ever seen. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t want to intrude…”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Nonsense. This is Jaime-“</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, is he your brother?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She says before Tyrion can finish and then blushes when she catches herself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Sorry”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Number 4: Her blushes are blotchy, not the pretty kind. Her freckles stand out when it happens.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Talked much about me, have you? Whatever he said, I’m probably worse” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jaime says, drinking another sip from his beer and winking at her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She blushes even more. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“He only said nice things about you”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she says, while Tyrion has already scooted over to the chair next to the wall so the girl can sit on the chair he’s just vacated.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“As I was saying, yes this is my asshole brother Jaime. Jaime, this is Brienne Tarth”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tart?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> He raises an eyebrow, and as expected she blushes again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tar</span>
  </em>
  <span>th. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Like the isle</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“And is it where you’re from I assume?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Not very original, Tart”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her face twists to a mulish expression, her chin jutting out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s Tarth. And I’m from the old kings of Tarth, the once Evenstars” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she then bites her bottom lip, all of sudden shy again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Not that it matters nowadays, but still..”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Number 5: Her lips are plump. And deliciously red.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well, fucking seven hells, he must be more drunk than he realizes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t mind my brother, he’s just like that, grating and irritating with anyone he’s meeting for the first time.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Like I said, it gets worse later on”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaime says, but gives her a soft smile to put her at ease. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“So how do you two met each other?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Brienne went to Oldtown and we had some classes together. As you can see, we bonded over how much we look alike” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Brienne snorts at that, drinking her own beer she had with her from the beginning. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Have you ever got to finish those extra classes on medieval weaponry?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> He asks her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You took classes on medieval weaponry?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jaime asks Tyrion in disbelief.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“It promised extra credits. But I couldn’t finish. Too boring” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaime shakes his head. What would he give to have gone to Oldtown University and taken medieval weaponry himself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Another path he didn’t take because of someone who’s been fucking Lancel, Kettleback and Moon Boy for all he knows.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I did. I don’t get how you didn’t like it.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Brienne was obsessed. She’s probably an even bigger nerd than you are” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tyrion says.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh really?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaime turns to Brienne.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “What was Arthur Dayne’s sword name?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Brienne scowls.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re one of those guys who thinks a woman need to prove herself worthy to like things deemed as masculine hobbies?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaime laughs.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m just curious if you know your weapons, Tart” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dawn. Only a Sword of the Morning could carry it, and only a Knight of House Dayne could be considered one, if he was worthy. There were only three, Arthur Dayne himself, Ulrick Dayne before him and the first Sword of the Morning, Ser Davos Dayne”.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes are bright blue with knowledge. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaime clinks his bottle to hers. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“To obsessed nerds of Westeros Medieval Weaponry”</span>
  </em>
  <span> and finishes his beer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Brienne blushes again, but drinks from her own beer too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, I got one. A good one” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tyrion says, looking up from his phone. Jaime furrows his brow some. For a moment he had completely forgotten about Tyrion still sitting there. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Just googled the most controversial topics on Westeros Medieval culture. Who Oathkeeper belongs to: House Tarth or House Lannister? Funny, I don’t remember learning we had more than one ancestral sword Jaime, I thought Widow’s Wail was th-“</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“House Tarth”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Brienne says at the same time Jaime replies </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Lannister obviously”.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The three of them are silent for a few seconds before Tyrion says </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I have the feeling this will start the Third Dance of Dragons, I’m gonna order more beer”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good call little brother” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jaime says, eyeing Brienne up and down. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Because Tart here will have to explain how she can be so embarrassingly wrong about such an obvious question with such an obvious answer”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He can see her cheeks reddening, but softly this time. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not embarrassed then</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Her eyes flash, the blue sparkling while that mulish expression is back on her face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stubborn too. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaime smiles. He does like a good fight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
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  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Four beers and an hour later, the topic has moved from weaponry to the old wars, to the existence of dragons and real magic in ancient Westeros and to questions about if the cliffs on Tarth were as high as the ones at Casterly Rock.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>By now, Jaime has noticed the obvious.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Number 6: He never wanted to fuck someone so bad and so hard as he wants to fuck Brienne Tarth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
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</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading and all mistakes are mine &lt;333</p></blockquote></div></div>
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